The Build It Yourself Project
Create. Value. Inspire.
WHY SUPPORT MEN?
"My theory is that men are no more liberated than women." - Indira Ghandi
The BIY Project's interest in gender partly came out of curiosity around three observations which seemed to be commonly made about men.
Our perspective is very different.
We think there is a better start point than variations of ’The trouble with men is...’ not only because it is unrealistic to make such sweeping assertions about gender, or any other group of people (try substituting ‘men’ for another group), it also tends to say more about the person making the assertion than anything else. In the context of supporting men that could mean looking at changes in practice and delivery.
We think a conversation about social conditioning in gender is a healthier start point; we also think that some people want to be supported in more ways than currently deemed sufficient and/or accessible.
The way we support people is how we like to be supported ourselves and find many also find our approach freeing.
In short we want to move beyond ‘gender’ as a focus, which may not be possible right now, to a situation which is focused on what works for each individual, regardless of gender etc.
Further thoughts and ideas.
“It is possible to come across as bullish, argumentative, forceful, mouthy and yet be absolutely crippled emotionally.” Brian Moore ex England Rugby player
Our curiosity was both on an individual level and also in the work/group setting. It raised a number of questions, or perceptions:- Where do men turn to for support or help when they need it?
- Or some might ask why don't men seek support when they need it?
- And where do women seek help for the men/males in their life?
- Where do men explore ideas when uncertain/angry/confused about their role in society today?
Here are some statistics collated by ‘The Campaign against Living Miserably’ (CALM) which is a north-west based charity set up to reduce the high suicide rate amongst men under 35, currently the single biggest killer of young men in the UK.
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Men are far less likely than women to seek medical help with medical problems
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Depression occurs as often in men as women but women are twice as likely to be diagnosed and treated.
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Men make up 94% of the prison population.
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One in nine adult men is dependent on alcohol, men are three times more likely than women to be alcohol dependent
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Men represent 85% of those who sleep rough.
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Men represent 73% of those who go missing each year.
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They account for 75% of suicides in England and Wales
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About 900 young men kill themselves each year.
There has been much work to support women in addressing historic and current gender imbalances. Such support engages women in ways which feel safe for them, in general anyway - where are the equivalent safe areas for men?
Is there an assumption that because we believe/are told we live in a 'male dominated world' that 'men' have all the help 'they' need; a justification for making no specific provision for men? Or is that actually men don't want support and if they did isn't that what the pub/football/fishing etc is for.
"Part of the reason that men seem so much less loving than women is that men's behavior is measured with a feminine ruler". - Francesca M Cancian
There are indications of change concerning mental health, e.g. the report "UntoldProblems":published by the Men’s Health Forum, 2010.
“… men often have mental health needs that are distinct from those of women
and which are particularly associated with the lived experience of being male.
Some of these needs are not being met as effectively as they might".
And in January 2011 "Delivering male: effective practice in male mental health" - download the pdf with this link: Download Delivering Male: Effective practice in male mental health (PDF)
When looking at some work environments it was apparent there is sometimes a difficulty in recruiting or retaining men in areas where a gender balance is desired, e.g when a primary school was known to recruit some male teachers it even made it onto the 'One Show' on the BBC - very intersting to hear what the pupils said about that as well. At one teachers graduation ceremony in 2011 of the 230 graduates only 8 were men, each one getting a cheer as they went onto the podium.
We are aware this is a big subject, for those who want support in this area we take a pragmatic and human approach - with humour - which we believe are key elements in creating an environment for positive change.
Click 'Learning' for a further explanation of our approach to learning.
Some organisations supporting Men and issues around Gender
Midlands:
Incest and Sexual Abuse Survivors - www.isas-notts.org.uk
Provides face to face, telephone and group counselling services for male and female survivors of childhood sexual abuse, rape and sexual assault (16+), their partners and family members.
C.A.S.A - Courage Against Sexual Abuse - run by male survivors of sexual abuse. Contact via www.selfhelp.org.uk
Campaign Against Living Miserably http://www.thecalmzone.net/
The campaign against living miserably (CALM) was set up to reduce the high suicide rate amongst men under 35, currently the single biggest killer of young men in the UK.
The Fatherhood Institute - www.fatherhoodinstitute.org
The UK's fatherhood think-tank.
Families Need Fathers - www.fnf.org.uk - a charity chiefly concerned with the problems of maintaining a child's relationship with both parents during and after family breakdown
Fathers storyweek - www.fathersstoryweek.org
Helping Fathers to get more involved with their children's learning and development.
Mankind Initiative - www.mankind.org.uk
The ManKind Initiative is a UK national charity that provides help and support for male victims of domestic abuse and domestic violence.
Menweb - Men's voices Magazine. - www.menweb.org
US site - Men's issues are not just men's issues but issues for men and women
Nick Clements - www.nicholasclements.co.uk
Author on men and Creative Entrepenuer
Barry Durdant-Hollamby - http://barrydurdant-hollamby.com/
Author on men, Speaker & Workshop Leader
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